Satire & commentary inspired by real aviation news — not straight reporting. Editorial policy →
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Get Off My Plane Satirical Aviation Commentary • Inspired by Real Headlines

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Latvia's Airline Flew to a Manhattan Courthouse to Reorganize Its Debt

airBaltic filed for Chapter 11 in New York, lined up $405 million to keep the lights on, and quietly canceled a $3.5 billion order for 40 airplanes it had very much meant to buy.

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A Guy With a Backhoe Turned Off the Northeast

The most sophisticated airspace on Earth was grounded on Monday because a construction crew found a cable it wasn't looking for. The backup cable was also having a bad day.

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The Flight Attendant Said "Stay Seated" Twenty-Six Times. Then the Bass Came In.

A British Airways passenger would not sit down. A crew member would not stop telling him to. A drum and bass producer three rows back was recording. You can guess the rest, but you'd be wrong about how good it gets.

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JetBlue Stranded Thousands of Passengers in July. It Also Stranded Its Own Pilots.

The weather cleared. The planes were fine. There was just nobody to fly them, because the airline could not figure out where it had left its crews.

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Air Canada's Most Experienced Captain Nails Every Landing for 17 Years, Misses One Small Thing: A License

900 flights, 17 years, forged paperwork — and he nailed every landing. Police named the investigation 'Project Icarus,' because even they couldn't resist.

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The Enemy of My Enemy Is My Free First-Class Upgrade

Scott Kirby has spent years trying to destroy American Airlines. He also has lifetime first-class travel privileges with American Airlines. These things are both true.

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The Last Flights of Spirit Airlines Were Flown by the People It Just Laid Off

After Spirit collapsed, someone had to fly the planes to the desert. The airline's own pilots, freshly unemployed, volunteered for the job.

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Airline, 34, Dies Doing What It Loved: Being Late

Spirit Airlines has ceased all operations. In lieu of flowers, the airline asks that you rebook on a competing carrier at your own expense.

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She Had Her Elbow In Me the Whole Entire Time

On final approach to Miami, two American Airlines passengers reached a mutual understanding about personal space. The understanding involved contact.

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Alaska Airlines Gave Away Brenda Song's First-Class Seats. The Seats She Booked Six Months Ago. The Morning of the Flight.

A family of six. A birthday trip. First-class tickets booked half a year in advance. Alaska saw an opportunity and took it.

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Forty Years in the Air, One Last Goodbye, and Now the Police Are Involved

An Icelandair captain on his retirement flight descended a Boeing 757 to 328 feet over his childhood hometown. His airline did not share the sentiment.

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American Airlines Removes Passenger Who Feels Her Speakerphone Was, Actually, Not That Loud

She had a point to make. The plane had a departure to catch. One of them won.

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Man's Phone Alarm Triggers SWAT Response, Nine-Hour Ordeal, FBI Investigation, and Formal Apology From Southwest Airlines

A Nashville-to-Fort Lauderdale flight was diverted to Atlanta after a passenger set a Ramadan prayer alarm. What followed was entirely proportionate.

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We Were All Supposed to Be in Cancún by Now

Spring Break 2026 kicked off with 569 cancellations and 5,713 delays. The weather had no comment.

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I Was Somewhere Over Colorado When the Screaming Started

A Frontier Airlines passenger lost it at 38,000 feet. Two million people watched. None of us are okay.

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Tampa International Airport Declares War on Pajamas, Nation Forced to Pick a Side

After successfully liberating its terminals from the scourge of Crocs, TPA sets its sights on an even greater menace: flannel pants at 2 PM.

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United Airlines Will Now Kick You Off the Plane for Not Wearing Headphones

The airline quietly added a headphone requirement to its contract of carriage. Somewhere, the guy blasting TikToks in row 17 just felt a chill.

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The Air Force One Menu Is Better Than Your Restaurant and the Chef Has a Security Clearance

Wagyu at 35,000 feet. Soufflés over the Atlantic. A wine program that would make a sommelier emotional. The galley budget is classified, which tells you everything.

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The Two Most Scrutinized Pilots on Earth Would Like You to Know They Are Fine, Thank You

To fly Air Force One, you need thousands of flight hours, a flawless record, and the ability to survive a background investigation that will find the parking ticket you got in 1987.

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"Get Off My Plane" Is a Movie Quote. It Is Also, Somehow, a Real Leadership Philosophy.

In 1997, Harrison Ford threw Gary Oldman off a plane and accidentally wrote the manual for executive crisis decision-making. Washington has been quoting it unironically ever since.

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Inside Air Force One: Everything You Were Never Supposed to Know

It can refuel mid-air, survive an EMP, and seat 70 people in more comfort than your apartment. The most secure aircraft ever built is also deeply weird.

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Area Man Asks Flight Attendant If This Is Air Force One, Is Escorted Off Plane

A Cincinnati man's dream of meeting the President ended on a jetway at O'Hare after he reportedly boarded a United Airlines 737 and 'just wanted to make sure.'

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Flying Air Force One Costs $200,000 an Hour. That's the Number They're Comfortable Telling You.

The official figure is $200,000 per flight hour. The real number, when you count everything, is significantly higher. We did the math so you can be appropriately horrified.

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A Brief, Alarming History of Things That Went Wrong Near Air Force One

From Cold War close calls to confused civilian pilots to the chaotic hours of September 11, the history of threats to presidential aircraft is stranger than most people know.

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White House Denies Reports That President Threw Someone Off Air Force One Mid-Flight

Press Secretary clarifies the individual was 'firmly and professionally escorted to a different section of the aircraft,' which is technically still on the aircraft.

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What Happens When You Put the Most Powerful People on Earth in a Tube With Nowhere to Go

Air Force One has hosted firings, confessions, and at least one bourbon-fueled foreign policy breakthrough. Turns out altitude does something to powerful people.

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The New Air Force One Is Running Six Years Late and Boeing Would Like to Change the Subject

The VC-25B program has cost billions, missed every deadline, and is still not finished. At this point the old planes are practically vintage.

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